There are a lot of things I want to write about right now. I got married last weekend, which obviously something I should be talking about, but any discussion on that can wait. Furthermore (and music-related), there is a new noanowa single out and I am actually choosing to put that aside (as in, not listen to it) in favor of writing this post first. I really don’t know if what I want to say here will be seen as important, but there are some words I need to get out before they give me any more headaches.
the brilliant green’s guitarist, Matsui Ryo, recently announced that he is leaving the band after 15 years. For a group that only has three members to start with, and has had those same three members since the very beginning, this is quite shocking. Similar trios did not fare quite as well (for example, Every Little Thing or Do As Infinity) but lost their third members very early on, and continued as duos for quite some time. In fact, ELT is still together, despite singer Mochida Kaori’s recent solo album. For a band member to quit after 15 years is really a shock. A shock, but in this case, not necessarily a surprise.
If you are familiar at all with the brilliant green (and I would hope you are, despite some very mean things I may write in a few paragraphs), you know that vocalist Kawase Tomoko has managed two solo careers on the side, under two different names: Tommy february6 and Tommy heavenly6. (She also had some weird unit with cheerleaders and one of the Hinoi Team members or something, but as that was a massive flop we’ll just forget about it for now.) Initially, the Tommy personas seemed to be a fun, occasional departure from Kawase’s time spent in buriguri, but eventually they took on lives of their own. After THE WINTER ALBUM in 2002, february6 and heavenly6 became Kawase’s main priorities. She and bassist Okuda Shunsaku got married at some point, and fans sat and waited patiently for new music. Very, very patiently.
In 2007 “Stand by me” and two additional buriguri singles were released, followed by a singles collection in early 2008. The band mentioned in an online interview that they were working on a new album. But Kawase had already returned to releasing singles as heavenly6 again. She also put out a rather horrid album under that name. Fans waited patiently, again, and earlier this year “LIKE YESTERDAY” was released. The group switched to a new record label, and returned to a more “classic” brilliant green sound (some of the criticisms of the prior singles, “Enemy” and “Ash Like Snow,” were that they were too much like heavenly6 productions–that the lines between the two had been blurred or even lost entirely). Things looked promising.
Then there was a rumor of another new heavenly6 single, or something. And then… Matsui quit the band.
If Matsui felt jerked around, I don’t blame him. If he felt betrayed, or ignored, or like the third wheel, I don’t blame him. And if he felt angry enough to put down his guitar, and leave behind 15 years of history for the sake of his own career, or sanity, or whatever it was, I don’t blame him. Because that’s how I feel, too. That’s how we feel, the fans. We too feel jerked around, feel betrayed, feel like it is time to just stand up and walk out. Because that’s what Tommy has done to us. That is how Tommy has made us feel.
I can’t claim to speak for everyone here–just myself. So the “we” may not be representative of more than myself, and maybe Brian, who I know feels hurt by this as well. Yet I think there are others out there who feel the same way. Just please don’t feel like I am making assumptions for you–I am getting my thoughts out here.
At first, I really did enjoy Tommy’s solo music. I was always afraid that the brilliant green would break up in the midst of these solo albums and single releases–but they stuck around. When they announced they were coming back, I am sure I was excited. I sort of remember the post I made on unchained–”buriguri is back, bitches,” I think it was titled–and just ate up the PV for “Stand by me.” I remember doing fun psychoanalysis pieces on that video, as well as “Enemy.” But then when that piano version of “goodbye and good luck” came out, I remember crying in a hotel room over a blog post, realizing that it was probably the end. I didn’t want it to be the end, and it wasn’t. But in retrospect… it probably should have been.
What really needs to be said here is harsh… but it does need to be said. Kawase Tomoko killed the brilliant green. I don’t think she realized she was doing it, realized that she was jerking around her guitarist and even her husband, but that is what she did. I am sure she had good intentions, that she had fun and enjoyed what she was doing. At times, I enjoyed it, too. But as a fan, I could only be pushed and shoved and teased and toyed with so many times before I just gave up. What she did–came back, left, came back again, left again–evidently destroyed the relationships between the band members. And it destroyed some of us as fans, too. Maybe we are the least important element, here, but as a fan I feel devastated by this. And I feel angry, too.
When the news broke, I was at work. I was angry. I blamed Tommy. I seethed about it all day. I think I posted a tweet or two (now deleted) that said something like “this is your fault, Tommy, and no one else’s.” It probably isn’t fair to blame her, but I really have no one else to blame. Truthfully, we don’t know why Matsui decided to leave. He could be getting old and tired of playing guitar, or he could have a solo career of his own in mind. So all my anger about Tommy’s actions could be a mistake. But if this went down the way I saw it going down, from the outside, I am pretty certain that Matsui left (after fifteen years with the band) because he was tired of Tommy jerking him around, coming and going, teasing the fans (and maybe even the other two members) with “will we or won’t we?” break-up ideas. So he did it himself. He put an end to it himself. No more questions.
Okuda and Kawase (although it is probably appropriate to call them “Okuda and Okuda”–after all, they are married) can certainly go on as a duo. In fact, they have a single scheduled to be released in June, so they very well may do that. the brilliant green may have another ten years left in them. But I will I listen to them now? Probably not. I’m sure I will give “Blue Daisy” a try, on the basis of giving everything a try–but if I enjoy it, it will be with a grudge, and a heavy guilt. And I will probably still be angry.
As I sit here in bed listening to “Enemy,” looking over this post and wondering to myself if I’m being too harsh, or not harsh enough, something strikes me about the song. I don’t think I ever looked at it this way before–but now, sitting here with my headphones on, it’s all starting to make perfect sense.
“The enemy lives inside myself,” and “I stand alone.” Do you think that maybe, just maybe, this song is more personal than we may have thought? That the enemy is, in the end, Tommy–always has been? In another line: “I am naive, but I have noticed.” What is it that she noticed? And if she did notice it… why didn’t she do anything about it? Why did it still, in the end, come to this–come to Matsui leaving?
What I’ve written here may seem a little foolish to some of you. It may seem odd to be this worked up over a band member leaving. However, this is a group that I have been dedicated to for almost ten years now, since I was 14. Aside from Hamasaki Ayumi, I really cannot think of another musical act that I have been following for that long. So for this to happen–for the end to finally, truly, be in sight, for me–is… painful. It is almost an act of betrayal. I can’t shake the feeling that I know who to blame for this, and because of that, if there is a future for the brilliant green… I am really not sure that I will be there to experience it.