23ji no ongaku

If you haven’t heard yet, AKB48 has signed a deal with Maru Music to distribute their Kamikyokutachi album in the United States. Maru Music is the US label for other acts like Wakeshima Kanon, Miyavi, and An Cafe. The press release for this event is, of course, overwhelmingly positive, talking about AKB’s upcoming appearance at Anime Expo and how the group is “expanding globally” and “taking the world by storm.”

Err, no, not really.

I don’t want to be the one to break it to anyone, here–I’m a blogger, I’m not exactly a marketing genius–but I’ve sat here over the last few years and watched Tofu Records eat dust, along with some other attempts to market physical releases of Japanese music in the United States, and I just have to be honest. This isn’t going to work. Any attempt to market AKB48 to the United States is just going to fall flat on its face.

I’m not saying the CD won’t sell–the CD is going to sell. It will sell to the existing fans, and to the people who come to Anime Expo and think wow, hey, that song was catchy, well I guess I have fifteen bucks to spare. (Assuming Maru doesn’t price it any higher than that…) It probably won’t sell well, even to the fans, but again–I’m not a marketing genius, I don’t know that. And you know what, I really don’t know what the “big plans” are, here. I don’t know if AKB48 wants to be some sort of globally recognized and adored supergroup, whose music ~*knows no boundaries*~ or if it’s just “eh, hey, let’s sell some stuff to those gaijin fans.” But if it goes beyond merch, it isn’t going to happen.

AKB48 isn’t going to take the United States by storm now, or really ever. That’s because they are Japanese, and because they don’t speak English.

Oh yeah, they’re cute. I get that. Their music is catchy. They can dance. But seriously, the reality of this whole situation is that only a very small portion of the US is going to want what they are offering. Give your average Joe a pick between music in his language and music he can’t understand, and he’s probably going to call you crazy for even asking him about foreign music. Sure, he probably wouldn’t hesitate to ogle the girls, and might even admit that what they do is catchy, but not a lot of people want to listen to something they can’t sing along to, much less comprehend.

And the Japanese thing? Yeah–it’s a stigma. It’s even racism in some cases. There’s no changing that, right now, because it’s in part due to the generations that still exist with the United States. You could bring over a singer that speaks perfect English and produces catchy music, and she still won’t make it big. Sound familiar? Oh, right–Utada Hikaru did just that. Was it because her US releases were subpar? Well, yeah, in part, but you have to admit that stupider shit has made it to the radio recently. (Cough Ke$ha cough.) Was it because she had poor promotion? Well, that too. But look–she’s Japanese. She comes from Japan. That is going to follow her around. If Utada ever does anything else in the US, radio DJs are going to have the goddamned blurbs ready to fire: “Utada hails from Japan,” or “Hikaru Utada originally comes from the land of the rising sun.” Even if the music is good, people are going to hear that and react as they see fit–which usually means not listening. I know I’m different, and if you’re reading this, you’re probably also different, but most people don’t have open minds. Most people don’t want a Japanese artist on their radio. Yes, even if they speak perfect English.

This statement–that AKB48 won’t dominate the US–really applies to everyone. Record labels and marketing companies can push as hard as they want to sell Japanese bands and singers, whether it be to existing fans or new ones, and it just isn’t going to go much of anywhere. Sure, it’s convenient for fans to buy Japanese CDs in the US, at a lower price, and there are the added perks of merch and concerts, but as dedicated as we may be, as fans… Seriously, we aren’t going to make these companies or bands billions of dollars. Japanese music fans outside of Japan are not numerous, nor are they rich. This is what happened to Tofu Records: they did some great stuff, and helped out the US fans, but they couldn’t turn a profit. Record labels need to go way, way beyond niche fans of niche groups to make money.

“Oh no, but it’s not about the money!” … yeah, let’s not even pretend that it’s not. It is. It always is. You can definitely get some labels and marketing agencies run by awesome people who are genuine fans, but there’s always an investment with the expectation of profit. What I do for work involves me a very social person, and offering some kickass customer service. I do a lot of this because I’m nice, and because I truly love and adore the people I interact with. But it’s also an investment, on my part, that results in me eventually getting a paycheck. I wouldn’t do what I do for free. And a record label wouldn’t bring a band to the US for free.

Let’s get back to the issue at hand, here. AKB48 is not going to be on your local radio station anytime soon, or ever, even if they master English and dance around in panties. Japan would eat that up. The US? Not so much. I realize that isn’t necessarily anybody’s goal, in this whole situation, but to call them a “global supergroup” or imply that they’re about to dominate the US is just ridiculous. AKB48 isn’t going to do it, Morning Musume isn’t going to do it, Wonder Girls isn’t going to do it, and SNSD isn’t going to do it. They’re foreign, and as open as our minds are, the rest of the country isn’t going to accept them right now.

If I turn out to be wrong, I am more than willing to eat my words. I don’t want to be wrong. But sitting here and watching this happen, I can’t help but feel like I’m watching history repeat itself…