Love And A Single Intertwined
January 16th, 2009
I had a lot of problems with this post. I mean, I have never had headaches with writing…at all. But this one gave me headaches because I had no idea how approach it. My heart was there, my heart wanted to write this entry, it’s just my mind was giving me second thoughts about certain restrictions if I talked about my ridiculous ideals. Pengie helped me a lot through this; she kept helping me to clear my head and asked me to focus on my heart but to no avail.
It’s weird, really weird. I personally do not get this emotional when I hear a song, but while hearing the latest song from THYME entitled “Aisuru Hito”, all these emotions and ideals about love came instantly, almost like a severe emotional attack. I had all these ideas and emotions sailing through uncharted waters within my heart, but my brain couldn’t process such concentrated thoughts into words. My body stayed still throughout the song. My heart was steady but was slowly being concentrated by ridiculous ideas about love that it was getting hard to keep it beating. I mean, nothing has hit me this hard before, and I have no idea why it did. And to this day, nearly a week since I’ve started this entry, I’m still searching for that ocean within my heart that provoked such thoughts. Even listening to “Aisuru Hito” now, doesn’t work. But I also don’t know why it hit me at that moment, I have had no such intense thoughts on the subject before, it was barely on my mind and I never talked about it with my mates.
I would spend nights trying to figure out what to write by placing my headphones on and playing some ballad while staying as still as I did when I played “Aisuru Hito” for the first time, but with closed eyes. It didn’t exactly work as I was watery-eyed afterwards with no sense why. I think the action of letting the music soak in forcefully rather than naturally hindered my chances of digging really deep.
One of my mates asked my other mate to ask her girlfriend to bring her friends over for a gathering later this week. Obviously, this was one of their ideas to, as they say, “smash their box” (do I need to elaborate in simpler terms?) or rather, to hook up with some chicks. Which is quite understandable, as guys we do long for a female partner, whether for short term pleasures or for long term commitments.
However, the idea of just focusing one night to hook up with a chicks is…perhaps, not my thing.
Not that I swing the other way or anything, but I just don’t see the raw beauty out of it.
But is searching for love so important that you would sacrifice anything?
Is putting that much effort necessary? Or is waiting with patience and hope for something good a better option?
Maybe I’m just a stupid idealist who thinks the idea of love isn’t as “simple” as a few words on a text message or as cliché as a phone number on a piece paper passed to someone you fancy. Possibly I think love is harder to achieve than just exchanged sentences or an introduction from a friend. Love to me is something you have to work for, rather by actions than simple words.
Perhaps I think other people’s feelings are more than “just feelings” and these feelings shouldn’t be played around like children on a seesaw or be tossed around like a piece of meat. I’ve always regarded other people’s emotions as important and special because once they open up to you, you are within their realm and such a burden should be taken seriously.
Perhaps romance isn’t in fashion.
Perhaps candlelit dinners has been replaced by clubbing and raving. Perhaps candles and baths have been replaced by one night stands. Perhaps inviting girls over for a gathering has only one aim and that aim isn’t parallel to how I think. Perhaps I’m trying to revive something within myself which is past tense while everybody moves along, being “fashionable” with love. Has the essence of traditional love faded? Is sleeping around the norm these days? What is so enjoyable about a few minutes of pleasure while having a month of sexually transmitted diseases? Is placing looks first really important than the person’s characteristics? Has aesthetics conquered our hearts?
Nothing is more complicated than love. Climbing the highest mountain, solving complex mathematical equations, carrying out surgery is minuscule in complexity when compared to love. Trying to come to terms with such a feeling is complex, achieving the true essence of this feeling is difficult, trying to keep such a feeling true for years and years has to be hard. To maintain such a fire burning after months or years must be hard as such temptations coexist everyday when are with your loved one and the persistence to be utterly and absolutely faithful is tough, even to the strong minded.
Love is complicated, but while we all say that in such a negative tone, everyone longs for such a feeling. Whether it may be in a relationship, friends or family; we all long to be cherished and appreciated by our loved ones.
Is love acquired naturally through actions or should love be forced upon by smooth and charming sentences rather than actions? Would the quiet actions of one win the hearts of others or would flamboyant sentences?
Is it really worth fighting for? It is really worth risking everything, for an emotion?
Problem is, perhaps if you don’t fight until your last breath, risk everything, you may end up jeopardising even more.
Perhaps, this is more than just an emotion. Perhaps, this is more than just a feeling. Perhaps, success doesn’t bring happiness. Perhaps, this is why people place so much faith on. Perhaps, “the only happiness in life is to be love and to be loved.” Perhaps, the relationship between two lovers is like angels with one wing each, and to fly they need to embrace each other.
But,
There is one fault, one big fault.
These collections of thoughts of how love “should be” is totally different than how “it is” and this was the main reason why I was having headaches, I even had to get counselling from pengie for me to understand what was prohibiting me from writing it. Am I overanalysing such an emotion? Is it really that simple to achieve this true feeling?
THYME’s latest single entitled “Aisuru Hito” is the main culprit in forcing me to inject some oestrogen into my system and becoming a girl. This is as bad as it is going to get, just because I heard this song. Music in general has different effects on different people, people may nod their head or people may smile at its brilliance or even shed tears at its heartfelt message. I however, think. Music may provoke thoughts of life, thoughts of other people, thoughts of emotions, but generally, I just think. Unfortunately, “Aisuru Hito” is somewhat a love ballad and hence the outpour of ridiculous emotion.
THYME has approached this in a different fashion from “first 9uality”. I cannot remember from memory that THYME sang a traditional love ballad so this is a lovely surprise. The use of violins and piano are profound from the start giving the listener foresight to what they may expect. Thyme makes the instruments work for her as she changes her voice to a softer and more fluent tone which is in tune with the ballad. While her tone is much softer, she can, as seen in “first 9uality” that she can turn up the volume in essential parts of the song. I love how she turns up another notch with much emphasis during the chorus, a nice contrast from her softer and much tamer tone during the verses.
THYME has always approached music with bright smiles shown the abundance of happy poppy songs in “first 9uality”. These songs were easy on the ears but were vocals were always in tune with the flow of the music. If the instrumentals favoured a higher or lower vocal requirement, Thyme would deliver it, and deliver it with utmost proficiency. The elements of what THYME “are” are interwoven within the song. Elements such as easy on the ears, the use of string instruments such as the violin, the execution of vocal dynamic…they are all there. This latest single therefore is only a change in approach by delivering it as a ballad rather than a cheerful pop song.
Is it this easy to achieve this true feeling? Or rather, should it be this easy?
I wish I could have delivered my thoughts in a more concise method, but I’m still finding that ocean that started a storm within my heart. To me, this post is unfinished because this post should have been a direct transfer of feelings and thoughts to words, and I’ve failed at that. The restrictions such as censoring doesn’t bother me, I really don’t care what others think, my friends know I’m a *borderline* paedophile and you really can’t get worse than that. I just couldn’t synchronise my heart into my hands. My heart has all these flamboyant, unrealistic ideals which are unsuitable for the current generation/day, but I cannot pull them out naturally. The harder I push, the faster I lose my thoughts. For the last week I’ve been forcing my heart to pull out these feelings by drowning myself in love ballads, but it hasn’t worked, in fact it’s been making me feel more distant to my original feelings.
Perhaps, some thoughts are not supposed to be shared openly, because they are only supposed to be exposed to your one-winged angel.
Art supplied by:
darkbutterfly6, Lunay, WildSpiritWolf and mARTy—
Tags: THYME
Posted in Personal, Single Review, Thoughts | Comments (Comments)
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